Taking Charge of My Finances Gave Me Strength During Loss


As told to Jacquelyne Froeber and Noelys Mendez

August 14 is National Financial Awareness Day.

I grew up in the countryside of Cuba in a traditional Cuban household.

My father was the provider for the family. He worked — a lot — on the small farm we owned and he took care of all of our finances. My mother also worked incredibly hard making sure we had everything we needed. She took the money my father gave her and magically tracked down food, cleaning supplies, clothing, etc., which was a full-time job considering where we lived.

Life moved at a slow pace in our small town, but when I turned 19, I fell in love and things started moving very fast. I went from my family home to married life and I became pregnant soon after the wedding. Two months after I turned 20, I gave birth to a baby girl. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her, and I knew I would do anything to protect her and keep her happy.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t happy in my marriage. I wanted to keep the dream of our family alive, but we weren’t right for each other, and we separated just two years after getting married.

I was devastated, but deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew we could both be happier than we were.

Still, it took me by surprise how happy I could really be. I met the love of my life about two years after the divorce. We had an instant connection, and I knew he was my person.

Damian was handsome, thoughtful and kind. Most importantly, he treated my daughter like his own.

We moved naturally into our familiar, traditional roles. He was the provider, and we never talked about bills or finances before or after we got married. But when I got pregnant, we started talking about moving to the United States. Cuba has its economic limitations, and we wanted our girls to have more opportunities and freedom to do whatever they wanted.

Osleidy and her daughter(s) and husband Damian in Cuba, 2008Osleidy and her daughter(s) and husband Damian in Cuba, 2008

In 2010, we were able to make our dream a reality and we moved to Florida. Damian found a full-time job as an auto technician, and I stayed home with the kids.

Damian continued to take care of all the bills, the house and the cars. Everything was in his name.

Like my mother, I did all the shopping with money he’d give me. When I used a credit card, he paid the bill.

Money wasn’t tight but I never took it for granted. Damian worked a lot — sometimes nights and weekends. I felt it was my job to help save us money, so finding the best bargains and deals became my super power. I never wanted him to think I would take advantage of his incredibly hard work.

We had 12 amazing years in the U.S. before he was diagnosed with liver cancer in 2022. The news was an absolute shock. I told the doctor that it must be a mistake. He was just 41! “Too young for cancer,” I insisted. Also, we had plans. We had a great life. We had two beautiful girls and places to go and things to do.

But cancer didn’t care.

The disease was relentless and cruel. For months, Damian stayed in bed at home, unable to work. I stepped in as his full-time nurse and quit my part-time job. There was always the hope that maybe things would turn around and he would miraculously get better. But that didn’t happen. And with no steady income, we went through money quickly.

I was in caregiving mode so I pushed the looming financial problems away. Then one day, out of the blue, it hit me. Damian wasn’t going to get better. Everything was on me now. My mother and my youngest daughter were living with us. I was responsible for keeping a roof over our heads. How in the world was I going to do that?

A flood of panic gripped my body and I gasped for air. It was all too much. “I can’t do this,” I whispered out loud. I was grieving. I was exhausted. I didn’t have the strength to push forward. I didn’t even know where to start.

But I knew who to ask. My eldest daughter was 25, and although she’s married, she’s in an equal marriage where she and her husband split the bills and ownership of their property.

I didn’t want to tell her that I needed help, but I had no choice. I had to step up and learn to do things for myself. For our family.

Osleidy with her mother and two daughters, 2024 Osleidy with her mother and two daughters, 2024

With my daughter’s help, we made a plan. The first thing I did was get every bill and a notebook. I added up all the expenses to see how much money was going out per month. I transferred all the bills into my name and the credit cards. I also had to take a look at my lifestyle. Since my husband had a good paying job, I had to be realistic that when I got a job, I wasn’t going to bring in as much money as he did (but hopefully one day!).

After Damian passed, I took a brief time to grieve and then I started working full time at a parts assembly factory. There were moments when I thought I couldn’t do it. I was 45 entering the workforce in a new career, but I’m so proud of myself and the strength that us women have, of our ability to reinvent ourselves for our family after facing the adversities of life.

I still have hard days where I struggle to even get out of my bed, or all I can do is think of Damian and the long life we thought we had left. But then I remember my daughters, my mom and my strength. And I’m reminded no matter how dark the path appears to us, with effort and struggle, women become more powerful and independent every day.

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Our Real Women, Real Stories are the authentic experiences of real-life women. The views, opinions and experiences shared in these stories are not endorsed by HealthyWomen and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of HealthyWomen.



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Tomé control de mis finanzas y me dio fuerza durante una pérdida


Contado for Jacquelyne Froeber y Noelys Mendez

El 14 de Agosto es el Día Nacional de la Conciencia Financiera.

Crecí en Cuba, en un hogar cubano tradicional en el campo.

Mi padre era el proveedor de la familia. Trabajaba mucho en una granjita que teníamos y se encargaba de todas nuestras finanzas. Mi madre también trabajaba increíblemente duro para asegurarse de que tuviéramos todo lo que necesitábamos. Ella tomaba el dinero que mi padre le daba y, como por arte de magia, encontraba alimentos, productos de limpieza, ropa, etc., lo cual era un trabajo de tiempo completo considerando dónde vivíamos.

La vida se movía a un ritmo lento en nuestro pequeño pueblo, pero cuando cumplí 19 años, me enamoré y las cosas empezaron a moverse muy rápido. Pasé de la casa de mi familia a la vida de casada y quedé embarazada poco después de la boda. Dos meses después de cumplir 20 años, di a luz a una niña. Me enamoré de ella en cuanto la vi, y supe que haría cualquier cosa para protegerla y hacerla feliz.

Lamentablemente no era feliz en mi matrimonio. Quería mantener vivo el sueño de nuestra familia, pero no éramos el uno para el otro, y nos separamos solo dos años después de casarnos.

Estaba triste, pero en el fondo, sabía que era lo correcto. Sabía que ambos podríamos ser más felices de lo que éramos.

Aun así, me sorprendió lo feliz que realmente podía ser. Conocí al amor de mi vida unos dos años después del divorcio. Tuvimos una conexión instantánea, y supe que él era mi persona.

Damian era guapo, considerado y amable. Lo más importante, trataba a mi hija como si fuera suya.

Nos movimos naturalmente a nuestros roles tradicionales y familiares. Él era el proveedor, y nunca hablábamos de cuentas o finanzas antes o después de casarnos. Pero cuando quedé embarazada, empezamos a hablar de mudarnos a Estados Unidos. Cuba tiene sus limitaciones económicas y queríamos que nuestras niñas tuvieran más oportunidades y libertad para hacer lo que quisieran.

Osleidy y su(s) hija(s) y esposo Damian en Cuba, 2008Osleidy y su(s) hija(s) y esposo Damian en Cuba, 2008

En el 2010, pudimos hacer realidad nuestro sueño y nos mudamos a la Florida. Damian encontró un trabajo de tiempo completo como técnico automotriz, y yo me pude quedar en casa con las niñas.

Damian continuó cuidando de todas las cuentas, la casa y los autos. Todo estaba a su nombre.

Como mi madre, yo hacía todas las compras con el dinero que él me daba. Cuando usaba una tarjeta de crédito, él pagaba la factura.

El dinero no era escaso pero nunca lo di por sentado. Damian trabajaba mucho, a veces por las noches y los fines de semana. Sentí que mi trabajo era ayudarnos a ahorrar dinero, por lo que encontrar las mejores gangas y ofertas se convirtió en mi superpoder. Nunca quise que pensara que me estaba aprovechando de lo increíblemente duro que trabajaba. Money wasn’t tight but I never took it for granted. Damian worked a lot — sometimes nights and weekends. I felt it was my job to help save us money, so finding the best bargains and deals became my super power. I never wanted him to think I would take advantage of his incredibly hard work.

Tuvimos 12 años increíbles en los Estados Unidos antes de que le diagnosticaron cáncer de hígado en 2022. La noticia fue un shock absoluto. Le dije al médico que debía ser un error. ¡Tenía solomente 41 años! “Demasiado joven para tener cáncer,” insistí. Además, teníamos planes. Teníamos una gran vida. Teníamos dos hermosas niñas, lugares a donde ir y cosas que hacer.

Pero al cáncer no le importó.

La enfermedad fue implacable y cruel. Durante los últimos meses, Damian permaneció en cama en casa, sin poder trabajar. Me convertí en su enfermera a tiempo completo y renuncié a mi trabajo de medio tiempo. Siempre existía la esperanza de que tal vez las cosas cambiaran y se recuperara milagrosamente. Pero eso no sucedió. Y sin ingresos constantes, se nos acabó el dinero rápidamente.

Estaba en modo de cuidadora, así que aparté los problemas financieros que se avecinaban. Entonces, un día, de la nada, me di cuenta. Damian no iba a mejorar. Ahora todo dependía de mí. Mi madre y mi hija menor vivían con nosotros. Yo era responsable de mantener un techo sobre nuestras cabezas. ¿Cómo rayos iba a lograr eso?

Una ola de pánico recorrió mi cuerpo y jadeé para tomar aire. Era demasiado. “No puedo hacer esto,” susurré en voz alta. Estaba de luto. Estaba agotada. No tenía la fuerza para seguir adelante. Ni siquiera sabía por dónde empezar.

Pero sabía a quién preguntar. Mi hija mayor tenía 25 años, y aunque está casada, está en un matrimonio igualitario donde ella y su esposo dividen las cuentas y la propiedad.

No quería decirle que necesitaba ayuda, pero no tenía otra opción. Tenía que dar un paso al frente y aprender a hacer las cosas por mí misma. Por nuestra familia.

Osleidy with her mother and two daughters, 2024 Osleidy con su madre y dos hijas, 2024

Con la ayuda de mi hija, hicimos un plan. Lo primero que hice fue reunir todas las cuentas y una libreta. Sumé todos los gastos para ver cuánto dinero salía por mes. Transferí todas las cuentas a mi nombre y las tarjetas de crédito. También tuve que cambiar mi estilo de vida. Ya que mi esposo tenía un buen trabajo, tenía que ser realista de que cuando consiguiera un trabajo, no iba a ganar tanto dinero como él (pero ojalá algún día).

Después de que Damian falleció, me tomé un breve tiempo para estar de luto y luego comencé a trabajar a tiempo completo en una fábrica de ensamblaje de piezas. Hubo momentos en los que pensé que no podría hacerlo. Tenía 45 años entrando al mundo laboral en una nueva carrera, pero estoy muy orgullosa de mí misma y de la fuerza que tenemos las mujeres, de nuestra capacidad para reinventarnos por nuestra familia después de enfrentar las adversidades de la vida.

Todavía tengo días difíciles en los que me cuesta incluso levantarme de la cama, y todo lo que puedo hacer es pensar en Damian y en la larga vida que creíamos que teníamos por delante. Pero luego recuerdo a mis hijas, a mi mamá y a mi fuerza. Y me recuerda que, sin importar cuán oscuro parezca el camino, con esfuerzo y lucha, las mujeres se vuelven más poderosas e independientes cada día.

¿Eres una mujer con historias reales que te gustaría compartir? Avísanos.

Nuestras historias son experiencias auténticas de mujeres reales. HealthyWomen no avala los puntos de vista, opiniones y experiencias expresadas en estas historias y no necesariamente reflejan las políticas o posiciones oficiales de HealthyWomen.



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Managing Uterine Health Conditions at Work



1 in 4 people who menstruate in the U.S. deal with period problems so bad they affect quality of life — including at work.

Many of them are dealing with uterine health conditions, such as:

  • Fibroids, non-cancerous growths in the muscle wall of the uterus, affect about 8 in 10 women at some point in their lives

  • Endometriosis, when tissue similar to your uterine lining grows outside your uterus and gets stuck to other organs, affects more than 1 in 10 women 

In addition to pain, these conditions can cause many other symptoms that can interfere with work. They include:

  • Heavy bleeding

  • Anemia caused by blood loss

  • Nausea 

  • Stomachaches

  • Increased need to pee

  • Diarrhea, constipation and other GI issues

What is a “normal” period, anyway?

Your period is considered heavy if:

  • It lasts 7 days or longer (not including spotting)

  • You lose more than ⅓ cup of blood during your period

  • You have to change your pad or tampon more than once every hour

  • You pass clots the size of a quarter or larger 

You deserve workplace support

All of these symptoms can be embarrassing, especially in a workplace environment. But they’re common if you have a uterine health condition.

While you’re figuring out how best to manage your condition with your healthcare provider, ask for accommodations at work such as:

  • Free menstrual health products (pads, tampons, period panties, etc.)

Other kinds of help are available, too. Talk to your healthcare provider about treatments and options to help you manage your condition. 

This resource was created with support from Sumitomo Pharma, a HealthyWomen Corporate Advisory Council member.



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